How are you doing? This week is week 5 of #stayathome for me & i’ve struggled with staying mindful & ‘feeling’ productive as my body & mind threaten to get bored & restless of the unknown (of not just the pandemic but of my personal life events).
Thankfully, I’ve playfully reminded myself on more than one occasion, “this ain’t my first rodeo.” That is to say, this is not (& won’t be if we’re being honest) my first time feeling displaced, feeling powerless, feeling ‘less than’ or ‘not enough.’ This ain’t my first rodeo.
And the JOY in stating this & reminding myself of this has been:
- Devil, you are a liar. It might ‘feel’ like you have the upper hand now but i’ve been here before, i KNOW (more than just feel) that I overcome & i will come back better than before & stand up over your head.
- Dami, slow down. Go back to the beginning. The why. The reason for the why. The meaning of the reason for the why. Jesus is my why. Jesus loves me, this i KNOW is my reason. He will never leave, never forsake me, He is IN CHARGE even when it doesn’t feel like it, is the meaning of my reason.
- Dami, let yourself be. This ain’t my first rodeo, so i know my ‘patterns,’ when boredom & restlessness start to set in. I know the questions to ask myself. Period coming soon? Emotional eating craves? Self criticism? Lack of desire? etc. & as i’ve gone through the week, i’ve been processing through these questions to try to continually give grace to myself. To not get into a bad mindset of “i’m being punished.” Or “what have i done wrong now?”
- The reality of the previous point of “letting myself be” means i’ve had to make compromises. Lol. Compromises between what my mind knows to do and what my body would rather do. For instance, i shared on my IG story today the green smoothie I had this afternoon to compromise not wanting to eat any veggies or fruits in the past few days but knowing they’re probablyyy good for me, haha. (My smoothie content: pineapple, apple, kale, orange, almond milk). Also, I’ve not had the desire to do my exercises so i’ve tried to do a few minutes in the morning right when I wake up or like this afternoon, I went on an hour slow walk while listening to a Joyce Meyer sermon. This brings me to my next point:
- This ain’t my first rodeo, so I know more than anything, I am only complete & whole when I spend more time with God. Unfortunately the feelings of restlessness sometimes extend to this area. Thankfully, this does not apply to my morning time with God as this is a sacred one for me & by the Holy Spirit will remain so for all my days. But usually, restlessness calls for additional doses of me just BEing in & with God & I haven’t felt like doing so. I’ve found myself more interested in unsatisfactorily scrolling through netflix, hulu and amazon prime and even begrudgingly rewatching past tv shows to keep my mind distracted. Last night though, I reached a compromise to turn things off & let soft music play while I stayed with God. & like i mentioned, my compromise today was listening to a sermon while I walked.
So, yes. This ain’t my first rodeo. As you can see, I don’t have it all figured out. But it’s part of the beauty in growth, I learn with every new situation. Times of restlessness call for a lot of remembrance on my part. And for this, I thank the Holy Spirit for being our faithful companion. Reminders of “I’m not failing” “God is faithful” “God knows how to do His job” “God loves me” “God is gracious and kind” “God wants me.”
To sign out today, I want to leave us with this verse, “Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.” Ephesians 6:10.
Hard times will always be, God will always be, we get to choose where we put our energy and trust. Remember, God will use our steady steps even though slow & seemingly insignificant.
Stay blessed & a blessing,
P.S. I’d love to hear from you! How is this season going for you? Are you learning any new lessons or facing any challenges so far? Can I join you in prayer? Use the Leave A Reply button below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.